3 years ago today, everything clicked. I couldn't be responsible for anymore deaths, anymore torture, anymore pain, not consciously. Who was i to think i was any better than any other being around me? Who was i to think that it was my right to eat what i want, when in the process it was causing so much destruction? Not me, not anymore.

 I gave up cheese, eggs, milk. I gave up tuna, salmon, and everything else. How could i think that fish didn't feel like other animals feel, like i feel? How could i think that eating salmon wasn't taking away a life of a being that is worthy of life? How could i think that eating fish wasn't destroying our oceans? How could i be SO stupid?

 Most of all, i never thought that milk, cheese, all its derivatives, are BREAST milk. How?! I had become so disconnected from other species, that i forgot all the biology drummed into my brain from primary school. How did i not realise what i was consuming was another species breast milk, meant for babies... not me. What happened to the babies? We just have what they don't, thats what i thought, for a while, but of course not. This is business, this is capitalism. The babies see their mothers for hours if that, and 18 weeks into their life they are killed... veal, heard of that?

 I researched, i saw pigs being dragged by their hind legs across a concrete floor covered in blood. I saw calves have their skulls crushed and their heads stamped on. I saw chicks being put on a conveyor belt and GRINDED ALIVE, and cows being skinned alive for leather. I saw the puss and blood that comes from cows being milked dry and sore. I heard the cries of mothers for their babies. I saw mile upon mile of veal crates.

 I was SO angry, i was SO angry for a really long time, and still writing this i feel a sadness that runs so deep, full of frustration and apologies for all the animals that couldn't be saved. There is a true helplessness when people around me argue that i am wrong; how can a kindness, compassion and awareness ever be wrong? How can being a decent human being EVER be wrong? If i can help the environment, save lives and nourish my body, then why wouldn't i?!

 I thought veganism was quinoa salads and malnourishment, i thought veganism was a death sentence to a boring life. But how pathetic that at the time i also thought "i couldn't live without cheese." Turns out it wasn't, turns out i can live without cheese. Veganism is thriving, nourishing and more wonderful than i ever thought it could be.

 What no one told me is i would go from sneering at "free spirited vegans" to becoming one. My entire thought process changed, my entire life was effected, it was honestly as if i woke up. I came out of a brainwashed society, i refused to accept a huge social norm. Have you realised society hates vegans? Have you ever thought how weird it is to hate a group of people that are doing the opposite of hating? Have you also realised how much money the meat industry holds?

 It's not hard to not eat certain foods, its not hard at all really after a few months, it becomes a new normal. What is hard is bearing your soul and wishing your closest friends wouldn't contribute to such an awful industry, but they still do. It's hard having people pick at everything you eat, or say or do. It's hard watching you eat meat, even though you are fully aware it was once a life that didn't deserve to die. It's draining having people pick at your flaws and debate with you almost every day. It's hard having people "respect my beliefs" and expect me to respect theirs, when theirs involves murder and torture. I am a strong debater, i am a strong person, but a part of my soul hurts every time; every time i repeat the same facts, the same points, the same cares. Every time someone sneers or giggles with their friends, because i'm "going on again", or thinking i'm just crazy.

 I won't be quiet, i won't just sit there, not while animals are dying on your back, not ever. I want a better world, but most of all i want people to value the lives of others as much as they value their taste buds.